Then I Did
by Heart Wishes and Dizzy Dreams
Summary: Mike's thoughts and feelings about Kate over all the seasons. Songfic. WARNING: Contains spoilers for season 4.


A/N: Okay, so there is this on going thing in my little group of friends where my friend Natalie and I really annoy our friend Amy with our love of things she hates. I love Sea Patrol and Natalie loves the band Rascal Flatts. This ongoing torture of Amy has lead to this, a Sea Patrol song fic based on one of Natalie's favorite Rascal Flatts songs. This fic is dedicated to my dear Natalie for her continued support of my intense love for Sea Patrol despite the fact that she doesn't really like the show herself and for continuing to love Rascal Flatts despite Amy's disdain.

Disclaimer: As much as I wish I did, I do not own Sea Patrol and as much as Natalie wishes I did, I don't own Rascal Flatts either. If I did then I would have them personally serenade her every morning.

WARNING: Contains spoilers for Season 1: Welcome Aboard and Cometh the Hour, Season 2: Rules of Engagement, Season 3: Red Sky Morning and Season 4: Crocodile Tears

Song: Then I Did by Rascal Flatts

_I thought about calling you when I got off the plane  
Every time I see this city through the clouds I get that way  
Call me crazy for missing you like this but I do  
By now I figured you had all your numbers changed  
It's been at least a year since I called you up to say  
We need to talk I got this job and I think I'm going to take it_

Sometimes the urge to call her is almost overwhelming. He could just be sitting, quietly, reading a book and his mind wanders back to those few weeks with her and all he wants is to hear her voice. Occasionally he'll actually find himself reaching for his phone before he realises that he doesn't know her number anymore, let alone where she is posted, and the longing is almost to much. At least until he remembers why it ended and he shakes his head, clearing it of thoughts of her.

_Cause I been waiting all my life  
For a break like this  
It's my chance of a lifetime I just know it is  
I gotta go find these dreams  
Was the last thing that I said  
And then I did  
_

Of all the ships in the navy he never thought she would walk onto his. She loved big ships, frigates, and she was totally career minded. And even if her career path did require her to have time working on a patrol boat why on earth did she have to be assigned to his patrol boats. It was as if the gods had conspired. Or maybe it was fate. Either way it was out of his hands and his emotions had been thrown into turmoil. He may have called it a thing, what they'd shared, but he knew it was more. And he could see in her eyes that she did too.

_I can see clear to the mountains as we head up our old street  
I remember how we'd call in sick on days like these  
And turn the music up roll the windows down and just drive  
You talked me outta givin' up on myself so many times  
Convinced me to get in while I could regrets hang heavy on the mind  
you never doubted me you kept pushing me  
_

He didn't know where the memory came from. One second he was in his cabin, filling out paperwork, and debating whether or not to go to the hospital and visit her and then he closed his eyes and found himself in his car on one of those perfect days they'd shared. She was sitting in the passenger seat, singing along softly to the radio and tracing patterns on the back of the hand he didn't have on the steering wheel with her delicate fingers. The weather had been too nice to stay indoors so they got in the car and just started driving. They had done it before, picking a direction and just heading in it at a leisurely place, stopping when they found somewhere nice enough for a picnic lunch. She seemed so calm, serene, at times like this. No worries that what they were doing was wrong, how it would affect both their careers if they were found out. Just the two of them, good music and the road in front of them. He opened his eyes and made a decision. He would go and see her.

_You gotta go find those dreams  
Was the last thing that you said  
And then I did_

Darkness. And pain. Thats all there was. He didn't know where he was, what had happened. There was just the pain and the darkness. As dark as the sea in a storm, the light of the stars and the moon blacked out by the gathering clouds. And the pain. It was like a wall. He couldn't feel beyond it, get around it. It stopped him in his tracks. And then amongst it all there was a voice. A beautiful voice, angelic and familiar. The sound of it was comforting. The pain was too much for him to understand what it said but he clung to the sound, the only thing that wasn't darkness, that didn't hurt. _"Don't you die. Please."_

But you were wrong  
Love was what I wanted all along  
And now you're gone

He ran to the garbage room, his heart racing, praying that he wasn't too late, The door was open and it took him all of 5 seconds to see that Talbot had his hands around her neck, squeezing the life out of her. He turned around and grabbed the first thing he could see. Fire extinguisher. He ran back into the room and smashed it into Talbot's face. Talbot let her go and she ran out of the room. He stood over him for a few seconds, making sure he was unconscious, before turning and reaching for her. He wrapped her in his arms, whispering over and over again, "It's okay", knowing deep down that it wasn't. He pressed his lips to her forehead and held her close, the closest that he had in years. He shouldn't be holding her like this, shouldn't wish he would never have to let her go again. All those years ago they had, he had chosen career over love. And ever since she'd walked on board his ship he wished he hadn't.__

I thought about calling you when I got off the plane  
Every time I see this city through the clouds I get that way  


An irritating ringing interrupted his sleep. The most comfortable sleep he could remember in years. He sighed but couldn't ignore it any longer when she answered the phone, shifting her weight against him to reach it. He watched her as she spoke quickly to Colburn and suppressed the urge to groan when she said she would be there in an hour. The navy really had no sense of timing. And he didn't want to let her go. They had already waited too long

_But you were wrong  
Love was what I wanted all along _

"You're getting a new CO."

"Oh, do you know who?"

He nodded and looked at her and watched as what he meant registered in her eyes. She sighed and he felt he should offer her some form of comfort. All he wanted to do was hold her. "It's only for a few weeks, until they get a permanent replacement." She walked away from him and he watched her for a few seconds, his mind racing, a myriad of emotions confusing him. He didn't want to go back to their professional charade, not after last night. But he didn't want them to get into trouble for breaking regulations either. He faced the same struggle he had all those years ago but comforted himself with the thought that it would only be a few weeks. And that she couldn't be mad at him this time. At least he hoped she couldn't. After all, this time he had chosen love.


End file.
